I didn't snap out of it until 9 the next morning when I woke up in a strange hotel room, my comm buzzing. Talon on the line asking me in his normal rude tone of voice where the hell I was, was I perhaps in pain? bleeding? "you wish you were so lucky" I tell him. yeah, I know, we get sarcastic when we hurt. you're probably thinking I should cut the crap.

Well, everything seemed in one piece. my id card was out of its case on the table though. that knocked the wind out of me. I realized how freakin' lucky I was to wake up in a hotel room and not his ship with the crimson guard in it. Oh but I'm pissed. I'm going to head right back to the Slor and hack into the port com system and fuck up whatever I can that has to do with his ship, forge repair requests, you name it. Anything to get back at him for what he did. and fuck, now I have to make a new id.

But no, I couldn't do this, because as soon as I get back and start working on the id - Kai rips the door open and throws Jakeem on the bed and tells me to look at the sensor log. And you know, for someone taking the door off it's hinges, he's very detached. No anger, no feeling, perhaps just a sense of extreme efficiency. quicker to rip the door open than to knock and try to negotiate the opening-of-the-door protocol with me. Guess he's right at that. well, I'm digressing again.

Oh yeah, Talon took off before this, heading to bar. I instinctively ask him, "if you see Leland, tell him I'm looking for him" you know, I'm freaking out wondering what in the hell he thinks of me, flirting with him and then for all he knows ditching him for Asshole. A little distracted right? I mean this is Talon we're talking about here.

He gives me that look, and I apologize, "Sorry, I was reacting to you as though you were a human." honest. and I drop it. He seems very tense, mumbles something and leaves. I think the whole night at the bar got to him - his mind was affected too, and he was acting friendly to everyone, humans included. He even complimented me, Kai said. "She's a vac suite." this was his mantra as he left to go get drunk. That's how he rationalizes not killing me, I guess.

Ok, Kai. Jakeem. Back to them. Jakeem was reviewing the footage of Xisor stepping out of the ship. He was studying the rabble rousers looking to see if anyone wasn't effected. Jackpot. There was a picture of Leland acting disaffected. uh-oh, things are getting interesting. Ok. Kai asked me to find Jakeem, no problem, I track his com signal.

Then he makes it easier by calling, in a very drunk voice, come o'er this p'ssd guy wantsa talk ta ya. ok, we're coming right over. I'm thinking -- Leland - maybe he's a deep level Rebel spy - maybe he understands the whole matter and doesn't hold it against me. (hooboy. how ridiculously vain and self centered we are.) but anyway, Mr. Reality Check Kai breaks in and asks what the conversation was about and then immediately sends Jakeem and me back to the ship - yeah right. I wait until he's out of sight and start trailing him. Jakeem likes that idea too.

I can handle myself. Who does he think he is? I'm a professional. Ha, not even. We're almost to the bar when out of nowhere I'm stopped dead by the claw gripping my right shoulder. Immediate fright reaction. I freeze because I have no idea what's going on and I'm in a tactically inferior position - if this person wanted me dead, I would be. I have no choice but to wait for an avenue of escape. (always be prepared. always. always look over your shoulder.)

Jakeem sees this but there's nothing he can do. Leland, yes it's Leland, tells him to leave or he'll pierce my heart through. All I could think about was how unfair it was. that this was Leland. that Xisor had to pick me, and that any moment I could be skewered from behind and the only thing I would be able to do was say goodbye to Jakeem, who doesn't care about me from Adam. I don't want to die like that. When it comes down to it, you don't want to die like that, trust me. You want it somehow to mean something to somebody and you want to be able to see it in their face.

Jakeem left me there. Leland spun me around to face him, no friendliness in his voice whatsover. He called Jakeem Rebel Scum - not a good sign. what a sinking feeling. what a fool I was. He asked why I was trying to get close to Xisor - to poison him. "Huh?" I think, "Like I'd voluntarily want to be with him?"

"No, He did something to my mind to make me follow him around," I say, "Poison? I don't have any poison on me. ...I don't poison people."

and I'm completely flabbergasted too, so it's not like I speak with any elan or suavity. Nope, stutter and stumble all the way. "I don't have any poison on me" indeed. ha. what a stupid thing to say. He could probably tell I was telling the truth because no one in their right mind would rehearse a thing like that to say. right. back to the story. sorry.

He then tells me I'm way out of my league. that I shouldn't meddle in these matters that I don't have any inkling of the meaning of. He says he likes me (hope? don't listen to it) and that's why I'm still alive, but that if I cross his path again he won't hesitate to kill me.

I watch him go, he puts away a bladed weapon just like the one the crimson guard had. I have so many questions. Kai walks out of the bar dragging a very drunk and bloody Talon, and Jakeem is with him, and when they ask, I don't know which direction "Leland" went to.